Love Stories

He’s got butterflies that don’t let him sleep at night. It’s cold but her warmth is all he needs. You see the boy’s falling in love faster than his mind anticipated and he’s just trying to play catch-up with the feelings that his heart has already accepted. 

She brings him to life, in a way that I hadn’t seen in awhile…and that smile on his face had been missing since the last girl came and went like she was going out of style…

He’s got a lot to offer her and I hope she knows it, I am almost certain I’ve only viewed the surface of the man that he is but I got to say that it’s incredibly impressive. She’ll get to know him more as the days go on, but unlike the rest, I hope she doesn’t take for granted that steady beating in his chest.

As for me, I am just confused I am both despondent and ecstatic for the reasons behind his exultant nature…you see the thing is that not so long ago being the reason behind his sleepless nights and butterflies was one of the wishes that my heart most desired. 

But you see I knew it was a long shot a “hail mary” if you will, because the truth is that boys like that don’t fall in love with girls like me…it’s almost like somewhere in history it had been decided that the two could not mix…almost as if with the creation of love and Aphrodite this bond had been dismissed.

Gratefully I know not of the jealousy of Athena and I will gladly let whatever love has come about to grow as it should in the excitement of a wonderful tomorrow. 

My excitement lies in the fact that my love story is nowhere near complete and that ahead of me are roads that have not been traveled (contrary to popular belief). There is a part of me that is ready to be shared with another but until that moment comes, I will have to give shelter to all the love and care that I have so that it will not become weathered .      

“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart"- Helen Keller

<3 Xo-Chill

These hard times

If I could try and describe the ideas and thoughts going on in my mind I think that it would be like something out of  a Stephen King novel. Not in the sense that they are horrifying or treacherous but because of the unpredictability of each and every single one of them.  These last couple of weeks have been one lesson after another, and I am not too sure that I am up for being a student in this inclement weather, what I am wondering what I am honestly and whole heartedly wondering is when…when do I get to be the teacher. 

What it comes down to though is that each and every one of us is a student in this class of life and as far as the  teacher is concerned, well there is really only one and he tends to be very fair. But just like a disgruntled kindergartner forced to take a nap, I can’t seem to understand the importance of all of these acts.

Placing it all in his hands that’s what I am trying to do but with every stumble and every scrape on my knee, I can’t help but scream and yell like that toddler forced to come in from the swing set. So much frustration lingers inside and the only way I can seem to get rid of it is by bringing these words to life.

Despite the bad times I’ve got to cling to the hope that everything’s going to be alright, at least that’s what I’ve heard and that’s what I’ve seemed to learn from these past life lessons... that continue to cause second degree burns on a heart and soul that has tried so hard to just keep beating… despite its secret desire to just cease from existing.

I spent years trying to be that good kid and now that I look what’s around me I can’t help but wonder where exactly has this got me…and as much as I’d love to  continue  to discuss the negativity that surrounds my disgust. I think it’s time that I start paying attention to where living like a good kid has got me. I am 22 years old with a whole lot of people who love me…and not the me that most people see, or the me that is always there to rescue thee, or the me who seems to carry everyone else is concern over her own but..me…the real me…the me that laughs every time she falls, the me who secretly fears the idea of not knowing anything, the me who looks in the mirror every day and tries to find one pretty thing on the outside...

I’ll take all this love and a build a new little home for this tired soul, I’ll take every broken fragment of my little heart and create one that beats harder than the older one ever could before.  

 As for now I’ll ride out this storm and learn from my lessons because the inevitable can not be avoided and I’ve never been one to back away from a challenge.   

“Experience is the name every one gives to their mistakes.”-Oliver Wilde

 

<3 Xo-Chill

There's a first time for everything

So I created this a while back out of boredom and got so busy after, that I never kept up with it...or even put a blog entry. But I seem to have much more time on my hands now, so keeping up with this blog shouldn't be too bad.

I should probably start this whole thing, by introducing myself. I am a 22 year old senorita that just recently graduated from the University of Texas at Austin (hook 'em). I am the kind of girl who loves many things and hates a few. I have, in my opinion, the weirdest pet peeves that a person can imagine. I come from a home that wasn't by definition perfect, but it's all I've ever needed to know. The only thing closer to my heart than God are my family and friends. Which to be honest tend to be intertwined with one another. I am the kind of girl who only shows her true self to those people who have earned the right to see it...

That's it for now, I hope you enjoy the writings I'll be putting up soon! have a blessed day :)

-<3 xo-chill